My old business partner pretty much insisted we “close the shop” for two weeks. He likened it to the European custom of paying for your employees family vacation every year, and since I am self employed, I pretty much still do that now.
So the day after Christmas in 2012 was a pretty busy day for Michelle and me. While she was still recovering from her procedure, I remember we did a little after Christmas shopping, went to lunch somewhere and got some time to ourselves. I think she went to work for a bit, leaving me to do somethings on my own.
The significance of this inconsequential actions was I went to the store and bought my last pack of cigarettes. I didn’t know it was my last pack, mind you, it just turned out to be. I had been thinking a lot about quitting my 2 pack a week habit for some time now. I had already bought and was awaiting the arrival of an e-cigarette from someone I knew who recommended a particular brand. While I thought very little of the health benefits, smoking was a singular distraction for me that I wanted to be done serving. I had a new grandson; I spend days at meetings and training sessions where taking a smoke break is a real pain in the ass; I was getting more conspicuous around Michelle and since I vowed to never lie about it again, hated when she asked if I had been smoking and had to answer affirmatively. I actually was VERY good at hiding my habit. Since I only smoked 4-5 a day, it was easy to keep it away from home. My most frequent smoke break was taken in the car at 60 miles an hour, all windows down (regardless of the weather) and was followed up with a breath mint and a spritz of S.O.S, a must have product for smokers that removes the smell of smoke from your hair and clothes. I kept a spray bottle in my car and in my garage. You get the picture.
Anyway, I remember buying the pack because the clerk at the Super America is a friend and asked me about Michelle and then added “I thought you were giving those up.” “Soon, I just ordered an e-cigarette and I’m going to try it next week.” “Well, good luck” she said. As I left the store, I decided that I was going to really make an effort, and would probably have to set a quit date soon. I do know the thought was prominent as I smoked a few more cigarettes than normal over the next couple days. Later in the afternoon, Michelle and I were sitting and watching TV. Recently Michelle had rearranged the living room, and created a cozy little area with just a loves eat and chair in one corner of the room, while the dining room table and china cabinet took up the rest of the area. As were sitting there, that now familiar pain in my neck returned. This time, however, it was far more intense than the previous incidents, and actually caused me to stand up from my chair and rub the affected area around my neck.
Michelle: “What is it?”This incident lasted at least two to three minutes. I recall a few specific things from this last symptomatic event:
Me: “It’s that pain in my neck again.”
Michelle: “Really? What do you think it is?”
Me: “I dunno - but I think I’m going to call Spike (our dentist) and see if I can get in and see him.”
Michelle: “Spike?”
Me: “Yeah - I think maybe its a TMJ thing. It really hurts. It’s like all the skin is trying to gather in one spot in my neck.”
- I did think I had something serious enough to warrant a visit to the doctor (even if it was the dentist)
- I remember checking myself for arm pain, chest pain or shortness of breath and ruled out this was anything to do with my heart.
- I obviously wasn’t having anything really severely wrong.
That’s it - the next time I felt anything, I would have bet my last nickel I just needed some antibiotics and rest.
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